Neon Genesis Champloo
by Scion-of-Thanatos
Summary: NGExSamurai Champloo. Shinji is searching for the sunflower samurai, and recruits an obstinate Vagrant, Asuka and a refined samurai, Rei, to aid him. Rated T for now, but might change later. Check profile, this one's getting a rewrite at a later date.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own NGE or Samurai Champloo, so trying to sue me will result in both parties losing money. sorry folks.

Neon Genesis Champloo...WTF?

This is not historically or anime accurate, but who the hell gives a damn?

Episode one: And then there was three, maybe...

* * *

The scene opens inside a small diner, with a young, perhaps, boy running dishes into the kitchen and out with dishes ordered by the customers at said eatery. The boy's brown hair was contrasted by his blue eyes, his body somewhat weak looking for males of his time. 

Oh yeah, this is set in the Edo period of Japan, did I mention that? Guess I didn't… The town in which this story begins is much like any other, although from this author's knowledge, is unnamed. The local area wa-is run by the local magistrate, with his younger son being a prick as usual to the towns people.

We now take a look into one of the main figures of this story; one Shinji Ikari.

"Shinji! You've got another order up here!" yelled the cook from in back, making the young man dressed in a light brown kimono whimper as he quickly placed the meals already in his hands on their respective tables before rushing back to grab the waiting meals.

"Hurrying!" he yelled as he ran back, dodging some outstretched hands in doing so. "Hey, I'm a boy!" He shot back at his attempted gropers.

"Yeah, but you look like a girl!" One of the old men laughed, pointing out the boy's almost feminine features as he continued to speak, "and once yer naked, who gives a damn?"

Shinji, the boy in question, recoiled in shock at the man's outburst, showing his disgust by sticking his tongue out as he turned away and pretending to spit the taste out of his mouth. "How you get any buddy is beyond me" he shrugged before continuing on with his job.

Only minutes later, a young man walked in, his bodyguards at his side as he sat down near the back of the main room, slamming his fist down on the table before yelling about the service in the restaurant.

"Hey, can we get some goddamn service here, or will I have to get rough with one of you?" the young man shouted again as Shinji made his way over to the table.

"H-How can I help you, gentleman?" The young boy asked, his eyes widening at the sight of the man's bodyguards unsheathing their katanas.

"You can start with empting the place out now, and then follow up with one of everything you got, understand?"

Shinji gulped, yelling for everyone to leave right away before running in back to give his guardian, also the cook, the bleach blonde haired man's order.

* * *

Meanwhile, a few blocks away near the small river that ran through the city, a medium-sized gathering of people were looking on in horror as a elderly man dropped to his knees on order from what looked like a midget in a box with curtains. 

"What the hell is this, huh?" The man within the box shouted, tossing the few yen coins in his hands at the elderly man before continuing, "I'm the magistrate around here, so you should be paying your respects a little better, don't you think?"

The elderly man sniveled as he tried explaining why he didn't have the money that the other man demanded, wincing as the other raised his voice to excruciating levels of volume.

"I don't think you understand! This entire town is under my protection, but if I don't have money, how will I pay the samurai that defend this place with their lives?" The magistrate spoke, grinning evilly before glancing over at the three samurai dressed in green beside the human drawn carriage.

"Make an example of this fool!"

A few seconds before the order, however, a certain blue haired individual stood at the back of the crowd, conversing with another villager.

"What is wrong up ahead?" The young blue haired person asked, causing the man in front to turn around.

"Wha? Why is a young lady such as yourself out and about without a 'escort'?" the man questioned the young girl, who looked rather weak looking and skinny when compared to the men and women surrounding her.

"…"

"Hey, why aren't you speaking? Well, no matter. You see, that guy is the magistrate of this town, corrupt as ever, but no one has the balls to say anything, and he often extorts money from the villagers, but a young lady such as yourself better keep far away from his son 'cause you'd have a lot more then your money taken, if you catch the my drift?"

The young lady spoke not a word as she motioned towards the two blades at her waist, making the grown man twitch nervously. "I will not allow for anything of that nature to occur to my body" she spoke in monotone, walking through the crowd as her light, sky blue gi and deep blue hakama disappearing into the crowd.

"Wait, was she wearing a men's gi? And a hakama? Just what is she trying to pull?"

As the order was given, the three samurai raised their swords at the same time, glaring down at the elderly man begging for mercy at their feet, stopping suddenly as the young woman from before stepped out of the crowd.

"Who the hell do you think you are? The Nerv of a woman walking around with katanas, acting the part of a samurai, perhaps?" the magistrate laughed as he tried to ridicule the girl standing behind the soon to be executed villager.

"I was about to ask you the same" she spoke flatly, looking on impassively as she surveyed the scene before her; two somewhat skilled samurai to either side, with one directly in front of her, all holding the same type of katana.

"Oh? You're gonna get stupid on me? Alright then, I'll inform you so listen up! I'm the local magistrate around here, Shibui Matsunosuke, so don't even think of pulling this shit again! Secondly; you shouldn't be carrying swords at all, little lady! Cause you never know who'll turn you in, and when I get ahold of a pretty little thing like you, well, I might not be able to contain myself, heheheh-huh?"

The man stopped laughing as the young lady in question quickly drew her blade, cutting two of the three samurai in front of her down at the chest, missing the middle one by mere inches. "Don't mistake me for a weak woman, or you will be cut down" the young woman spoke coldly, watching as the two dead samurai sprayed blood allover the street.

"WHA-WHA-WHAT IN THE HELL?"

The man, shibui, watched as the last samurai stood between him and the petite blue haired girl. "C-cut her down!" he ordered, watching in awe as the final samurai lunged with his blade outstretched in front of him, the young woman joining in the battle by swinging her katana upwards.

The man missed her, catching nothing but air with his blade as the girl's blade made its trip upwards, lodging itself in the man's jaw and skull, killing him in a fountain of his own blood.

The young woman flicked her blade, sheathing it as she relaxed her body, directing her attention towards the now sniveling man who ordered hers and the elderly mans' execution.

"P-Please, don't kill me! I'll give you anything you want! A place in the local courts? Or how about all the money you could ever dream of? Please, I pay anything as long as you don't kill me!" he begged, getting down on his knees as his followers ran to what they deemed a safe distance from the girl.

"Ayanami"

The magistrate looked on at the girl, puzzled at her words.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That is my name, you would do well not ever to forget" she warned him coldly, returning her semi-glare to a once more impassive face, walking on down the street, leaving a massacre in her wake.

"What the hell is a red eyed freak like her doing in Japan, anyways?"

* * *

Anyways, after that, we turn our attention back to the diner where we left Shinji, the bleach blonde young man who was rude enough to have all other diners removed, by force if necessary, sat at his table, admiring his 'new' blade as his men continued to eat rather slovenly. 

"Hey boy! Get your ass over here and wait on us!" the bleach blonde demanded, his voice now on his waiters final Nerv.

"Boy, do you think you could show at least a little respect towards me? I am the magistrates son, after all!" he laughed, causing his men to follow his example, even though he hadn't made a joke.

"You'd do well to remember my name, Shibui Tomonoshin, boy!"

Shinji cringed as one of the posse/samurai bodyguards stroked his butt, making a bee line for the kitchen before hearing the sound of cloth being shoved aside, followed by cursing in another language, the origin of which the boy hadn't the foggiest.

"Goddamn it! That idiot should've been watching wherehis damn horse was going!" the redheaded stranger growled, taking up a seat near the door on the side opposite the bleach blonde ass before signaling Shinji over.

"Um, excuse me? Are you a… customer?" the boy asked, looking the redheaded girl over, her fiery red gi cut in the shape of a jacket, and her gray hakama cut into a matching pair of shorts.

Her chest swathed in bandages, turning them into a makeshift bra, by Shinji's reckoning, rounded out with a strange looking black sheathed katana on her back, and a pair of geta on her bare feet.

Shinji came closer at the motioning of the young woman's finger, allowing her mouth to brush by his ear as she asked a question.

"You want I should get rid of those idiots over there" she motioned towards the bleach blonde across from her, continuing when the young boy made a sound urging her to continue, "it'll cost you fifty dumplings, take it or leave it."

"Fifty dumplings? Isn't that a little…much? Maybe ten?" he tried bartering with the girl, much to the confusion of the men towards the back of the restaurant's dining area.

"You obviously don't have much of a problem with the morons over there" the young lady pointed over towards the other, much more deadly looking party, "if all you're willing to part with is ten dumplings… but, I guess it's to be expected, what with all the tight-assed idiots around" she spoke rather airily, causing the bleach blonde to order his men to grab the boy standing next to her and bring him before said idiot.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Trying to have the son of the local magistrate assassinated? Is that your plan? Well, I'll deal with you!"

the bleach blonde young man drew his 'new' blade, laughing at the boy as he ordered his men to bring him up to the table, having the man to Shinji's right pull the boy's hand out and lay it on the table.

"You're gonna lose a finger for that action, boy! So which one should I take, huh?" the man laughed rather sardonically as he tried to decide on which of the younger boy's fingers to cut off, not paying any attention to the stranger near the door.

"One hundred dumplings!" Shinji shouted, causing the young man to wince at the sudden increase in volume.

"Heh, see, that wasn't so hard!" The redhead snickered, looking over at the men standing at the other table.

"Let's see; nine of you morons, a hundred dumplings each so that's fifteen dumplings a piece!" the young woman shouted in glee, as she stood up, "Your lives are that worthless, didja hear?"

Meanwhile, at the entrance to the kitchen, an older woman stood counting on her fingers, "That girl is horrible at math!"

**The end**

**

* * *

A/N:**

This is an idea I was hoping to debut with, however, certain people took my scripts, among other things, and I no longer have the originals. I don't know whether to continue with this or not, but if you would like me too, please tell me. Even if only one of you wants it, I shall continue. 

The idea always seemed rather funny to me, but I had to recover the (now) ruined scripts from 'certain' people before I could even try, although now I'm starting from scratch.

Ayanami as Jin, and Asuka as Mugen... somewhat fitting...

Well, read and review please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Nope, don't own either anime that this story mixes together, so don't waste time trying to sue me, it'd be a waste of money. trust me!

Neon Genesis Champloo.

Part 2.

And then there was three… maybe.

* * *

"Didja hear?" were the girl's words as she stood straight up, glancing over at the pompous ass buffoon (her thoughts and ours, I'm sure) before grinning from ear to ear. 

"Oh yeah, those idiots look weak! Maybe you should've spent more money on your bodyguards then that crap blade of yours!"

The men watched as their leader twitched, taking his blade and setting it down at his side before ordering his men to engage the girl.

"Yer dead, little girl" the men all seemed to chant in unison, drawing their blades as they went towards where she stood.

Without warning, one of the men came up to her left, swinging his blade at neck level, hoping to cut her head off in one stroke. That didn't happen, however, as the girl ducked, standing back up and launching her foot at his jaw and while grabbing his wrist, ensuring that he wouldn't retaliate.

After sending the first man to the land of nod, the girl pulled him in front of her, using him as a shield as another man thrust his katana in the girl's direction, killing his own ally and then being sent off himself as the girl drew her blade and cut him at the waist.

"Nothing but morons here!" she growled lowly, looking up with a sardonic grin as she centered her vision on the bleach blonde who was now rethinking his endeavors across the room and behind his table.

"G-G-GO KILL HER!"

The men followed their master's order, entering their stances as the prepared to face this wild woman in front of them. Suddenly, once again without warning, the girl flipped the table nearest to her up, directing it towards the samurai in front of her and vaulting off one of the samurais' head, landing behind the scattered posse and right directly in front of the leader.

"Don't let her kill the master!" one of the samurai hollered, causing one of the men to rush to engage the redhead.

"Fools rush in, buddy!" she retorted as the man swiped at her twice, once downwards and then a follow-up upwards. After the man finished the last swipe of his sword, his life came to an abrupt end as the girl ran him through the neck with her blade, which had been sheathed before she flipped the table up.

"Dang… did that hurt?" she asked sarcastically, watching as the man's lifeless corpse slid off her blade and onto the floor.

"R-R-Ryujiro! Protect me, goddamn it!" the magistrates son panicked, watching as the girl turned her attention to the advancing man behind her.

"Heheheheheh! I can't wait for this! I can't wait to see what you look like all sliced up, little girl!" the man called Ryujiro spoke, raising his blade above his head and swinging it downwards, once again missing the unpredictable girl, but only by mere inches as she rolled to the side to avoid his wrath.

"You really like pissing me off, don't you, little girl?"

The redhead recovered from the man's initial attack, she stood up, ran over towards the wall as the man followed suit, keeping close to her as she reached what he called her 'dead end'.

However, the man watched in stunned awe as she, without stopping to regain her traction, leapt towards the wall, vaulting off it and swinging her leg around to hit the surprised man in the face, knocking him to his right before drawing her blade, swinging it down towards the man.

He moved to avoid it, but lost his right arm as he chose the wrong direction to flee in.

"My name is not 'little girl', got it?" she menaced, watching as the man cowered before her, covering his stump of an arm with what remain of his sleeve and shaking his head violently up and down, letting the girl know he understood her words.

"Good"

The girl flicked her blade, whipping the blood off it before sheathing it again and turning her attention to the man currently crawling on hands and knees to get out of the diner in one piece.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" the girl growled, pinning the young ass against the wall, eliciting words of all sorts from the man.

"C-Come on, p-please? I-I could give y-you lots of money if y-you let me go! My f-father is the loc-cal magistrate and he'd pay big to get me back unharmed!" the young man sniveled as the girl moved a little closer to him, grinning wider (if that was possible) at the man's hurried words, laughing in his face as she chose now to speak.

"Oh, big money, huh? Loads of cash, huh?" the girl spoke slowly, lulling the man into a false sense of security, "Not interested" she deadpanned, watching his face turn to one of shock at the sound of her words.

The man thought quickly as she grabbed her blade, realizing that none of his men could even think of taking the redhead on in a fight, he decided to resort to a bluff.

"If I die, then my dad would send a really strong samurai that would utterly destroy you, girl! But he wouldn't do that before having some fun-"

"Why the hell do people keep saying that to me?" the young woman screamed in frustration, scaring the man she currently held by the collar.

"Okay, your dad has some real warriors, does he? Then send'em all, I want a challenge!" she growled with, what Shinji assumed was, ecstasy.

The girl turned her attention to the remaining people in the diner; Ryujiro and two other samurai.

"You three have exactly" she looked at the blonde man's fingers before turning her head to face the three again, "ten minutes to get that 'super' bodyguard you've been squawking about before I let loose and kill this obnoxious moron, got it?"

The men ran out after watching the girl bend one of the blonde's fingers back, snapping it like a twig before looking back, watching them as they ran out.

"You better hope they get back in time!" she sang, laughing as the other occupants watched on.

"_She's insane! But, she does look kinda…"_

Shinji was brought out of his thoughts by the girl calling out to him, demanding that he repay her for what she had done for the diner. "Hey, buddy! Get yer ass over here with some dumplings! And make it quick!" she spat, causing Shinji to jump a few inches into the air before running into the back, presumably to grab some dumplings.

The room was filled with the snapping of four more fingers as the redhead waited impatiently for the men to return.

"Doesn't look like you've got many loyal followers, huh buddy?"

As Shinji returned to the dining area, the entire room was brought to a silence as another person entered from out front, her light blue hair contrasted with her red eyes and pale skin.

"Wha… she's… cute" shinji whispered, watching as the girl raised her head, standing straight up before inquiring as to what was going on in the eatery.

"Is there…a problem?" the young girl asked, looking over at the redhead to gain insight as to the reason why the place looked like a war zone.

"Hey, are you the warrior that was supposed to come face me?" the redhead asked roughly, glaring and smiling all at the same time.

"Hm, as to your first question; yes, I am a warrior, a ronin to be exact. Second; I do not have any desire to start any unnecessary battles with a disgraceful samurai such as yourself, if you could even be called that" the blue haired girl spoke calmly, keeping her eyes downcast as to not make eye contact with the redhead.

"W-W-WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" the redhead yelled, inadvertently breaking the blonde's mans' hand before releasing him.

The pale girl remained silent as the more brash girl drew her blade, rushing towards the blue haired samurai with her grin plastered almost permanently to her face.

"I don't care whether or not you are the guy I'm supposed to face, I'm taking you down!" the redhead shouted, swinging her blade, hitting the blue haired girl's blade, which was drawn in response to the redhead's unprovoked attack.

As the redhead jumped backwards, the pale girl lunged at her with three quick swipes, one to each side and then finishing with a downward slice, barely missing the redhead as she went on the offensive, bringing her foot around to hit the other girl but missing.

However, the redhead's plan worked as the blue haired girl dodged the leg, moving back and to the side and giving the redhead an opening to attack with her sword, just barely blocking the violent girl's swings as she tried to regain her footing.

"Heh, you're good, lady" the redhead growled, jumping back to assess her opponent before trying to attack again.

"As are you… I was somewhat wrong, I must say… and that makes you my sworn enemy, after all of this" The blue haired girl whispered just barely loud enough for the other girl to hear.

"Same here! But, before I kill you, tell me your name" she spoke, watching as the other girl returned her face to a more impassive one before answering.

"Ayanami Rei, and yours?"

"Asuka, and don't forget it" the girl now known as Asuka growled.

Shinji, who had been sitting quietly by the wayside for a while now, chose that moment to speak up.

"And I'm Shinji I…ka…ri?" the boy slowed to a stop as he realized that neither of them were paying attention to him.

"_I'm nothing to those two, aren't I?"_

The girls once again attacked one another, clashing blades as they struggled to gain the upper hand against the other.

Asuka turned to run, with Ayanami close behind, towards the wall vaulting off it and leaping over the blue haired girl, swinging the blade in her hand towards Rei's back, missing as the blue haired girl rolled forwards, with Rei turning around in doing so.

"You aren't fighting with any known style after all, are you?" the pale girl questioned, watching Asuka as she went on the defense.

"My style isn't any of your business!" Asuka spoke through clenched teeth, attacking the other girl with blows to her blade in an effort to knock her off balance. "Damn you! Stop blocking!"

The blue haired girl followed the other's orders and swung at Asuka, cutting the girl's gi slightly, giving it a little slit in the front before jumping up into the air to avoid the other girl's foot coming at her from down below in an effort to trip her.

As the blue haired girl landed she immediately went on the defensive as the redhead started swinging her blade, hitting the other girl's katana repeatedly in an attempt to knock it out of Rei's hands.

The girls fought for a few minutes longer, running allover the diner's front, Asuka leaping from table to table as she parried the other's swings with her geta's metal strapped to the underside.

As the redhead leapt from the table, the two engaged in further sword play, stopping suddenly when they heard a voice call out from the entrance.

"Y-You'll pay for this arm, bitch!" Ryujiro shouted, lighting up what Asuka assumed was something flammable, and tossed into the eatery.

It was at that time that the occupants realized that the man had spilt fuel around the floor near where he stood and upon the tables near the entranceway.

"SHI-"

Asuka couldn't even get that word out as she watched the entrance go up in flames, the fire reaching the roof rather quickly, by Asuka and Rei's estimations.

Shinji and his guardians, however, had made it out the back way before the place was consumed by flames.

"The-They left us, those bast-"

And with that, the scene went black as the sound of the roof collapsed, with the sound of blades clashing fading out slowly.

"AH! AH! WHERE AM I? WHY THE HELL IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?" the redhead panicked, looking around the room as she realized that it was the eatery, and that her hands were bound by some unseen object.

"Where the hell-" the girl started to growl, but stopped as she looked to her side.

There to her right sat a tub of water, and inside this water sat a young, blue haired woman with what appeared to be…

"_Wake up!"_

"Huh?"

"_Wake up, goddamn it! Get up or _ELSE!"

The redhead stirred as the owner of the voice slapped her across the face, making sure to bruise her cheek in the process.

"Good, you're up" the man snickered, looking over at the blue haired girl who was bound by the wrists to a wooden support beam overhead, as was Asuka.

"Yer execution is set for tomorrow, but don't despair! We won't be leaving you alone for long, just need to get the torture racks ready…" the man said before walking out, leaving the girls in silence.

"H-hey, you! Yeah you over there… got one question" Asuka spoke, "Well, actually two questions."

Ayanami remained motionless, but Asuka continued.

"One; did they… you know… 'take' us?"

Ayanami looked over towards he girl, shook her head, and returned to 'hanging' around.

"Okay, two; Was that just a dream?"

Ayanami spoke, surprising the other girl.

"No"

Asuka now had a face of mild amusement, and horror as she proceeded onwards.

"So, you were really taking a bath in the middle of a fire with your dick hanging out?"

The other girl's eye twitched slightly before she spoke.

"That was a dream."

The girls, dressed in their original clothes, sat silently as they awaited their fate.

* * *

**A/N:** Wow, I did not expect for this to be recieved well, honestly! I have to say that I'm surprised! However, for the length of the chapters, I will start making them longer, but will not make each episode into one or two chapters, but into as many as needed in order to keep up a steady update and story.

After the first episode is finished is when they will start to get longer, but I need to update my knowledge of both series' so that I don't screw everything up and make people mad because I forgot certain things, so sorry!

Also, I don't have as much of a script for further episodes as I'd hoped, so I need to work on that as well.

Well, anyways... See ya!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them, nope, not me, got it? good!

Quick note: Sorry, I didn't know that the Anonymous reviews was disabled, a problem on my part as I hadn't checked everything out. Rookie mistake, I hope...

Neon Genesis Champloo.

Part 3

Episode 1- And then there was three…maybe

* * *

"This blows" 

Shinji stood, whispering those words over and over as he watched the diner smolder, not paying to much attention to the onlookers who happened to walk by.

After standing there, overlooking the diner for a few seconds longer, his guardians walked up behind him, their backs adorned with travel packs, and various other objects they had been able to save from the fire's wrath.

Shinji! Are you coming with us? You are welcome to join us, seeing as you don't have anywhere else to go" the woman spoke, looking at the boy's back as he shrugged, her husband watched with interest as the younger boy decided.

"No" Shinji began, "I think… that I'll start my journey now… so, I won't be joining you, I'm sorry. Seeing everything that happened today, I think that I should go, for my own good" he finished, smiling a half smile back at both of his guardians before walking off, leaving them standing in front of the eatery.

"Or at least, I will start, once I find 'company'" the boy thought to himself, looking up at the setting sun.

"Hey, get out of my way, boy!" an older man spoke, pushing Shinji to the side as he walked up to the side of a nearby building, hammering a poster onto the wall before walking off.

"What is this?" he asked himself, moving closer to the poster to get a good look at the words written it.

"At sunset tomorrow, the two fugitives responsible for the deaths of the magistrate's son, Tomonoshin, as well as many samurai in service to Shibui Matsunosuke, local magistrate, will be executed using their own blades as penance for their crimes" Shinji stopped reading, trying hard to remember something, from the looks of it.

"_They didn't kill that ass, he was killed by that other guy, Ryujiro! Those idiots are punishing those girls for that moron's crime?"_

Shinji noticed that there was more to the poster, and so, continued to read.

"As witnessed by the magistrates son's faithful Samurai bodyguard, Sasaki Ryujiro."

Shinji ripped the poster off the wall at that point. Standing there wide eyed at the piece of parchment in his hands with disbelief.

"If I don't do something, then those two will pay the price! Damn it! Why me?" he moaned, putting his face in his hands.

Wait a minute" Shinji stopped, raising his head as he thought up what he considered a foolproof plan, "this could work!"

As Shinji ran off down the street, his head had only one thought running through it.

"Just need to find a disguise…"

Later that night…

"Damn, this kimono is annoying! How do women walk in all of this?" Shinji quietly whimpered, stumbling as he tried, with little success, to walk in women's clothing.

"And also, my butt feels big…"

Shinji shook that last thought, swearing to himself to get out of his get up as soon as possible, walking slowly up to the entryway into the magistrates home, noticing only one guard on watch at the moment.

"Alright Shinji, time to work the charms!" he whispered to himself, walking up to the man standing in front of the gateway, trying his best to act seductive enough to entice the guard into letting him in.

"Excuse me" Shinji started, speaking in the most feminine voice he could muster, "but would a big, strapping young samurai like yourself be of some service to a young lady in need?"

The older man, a rather weak looking balding man in his (perhaps) late thirties, jumped at the 'woman's' voice, gawking at the boy in drag as Shinji made his way over to the man, his plan officially going into action.

"Well, it depends, what would a pretty young thing like yourself need? Or maybe, you need the comfort of a manly guard such as myself to keep you warm during these cold nights, perhaps?" he spoke, smiling at the boy as Shinji decided to try asking him to let the boy in.

"Actually, I was thinking that, perhaps, you'd let me see those filthy women who masquerade as samurai who were arrested today? I'd forever be in your 'debt'!" Shinji cooed in his most seductive voice, hoping the guard would fall for it.

His plan failed.

"Sorry, but I can't let anyone see the prisoners, not even you!" the man spoke, turning his mouth into a lopsided grin before continuing, "Unless… you had se-"

"Forget it!" Shinji yelled, taking the rock he had hidden up his sleeve and bashing the guard over the head, knocking him out cold instantly, "I'm a girl!"

"Wait… that didn't come out right…"

Shinji decided to drop the subject, chalking it up to the clothes he currently wore before running over to the gateway, silently thanking kami for having the man leave his spear against the wall before he walked over to greet the meek boy.

After stealthily making his way across the grounds, he came upon the holding cells where Ayanami and Asuka currently resided.

"The girls were currently engaged in conversation, or at least, Asuka was.

"I can't believe the nerve of those idiots! I didn't kill that retard, the other guy, Ryu-Ryu-Ah, what's his name did!" The girl spoke loud enough for Ayanami to hear, and Shinji, but he wasn't who she was directing it at.

"Do you ever talk?" Asuka asked flatly, having received silence as the other girl's constant answer for the entire time they had been placed in the holding cell.

"Maybe she just doesn't want to right now?" Shinji spoke, peering into the cage at the two girls and smiling slightly when he noticed that neither of them seemed harmed badly, besides for a few bruises, of course.

"What the hell are you" Asuka growled, baring her teeth at the boy as she tried to get up, the ropes holding her posing quite a problem, "Doing here, moron! You're the reason that I'm in here! You know that, right?"

Shinji recoiled at the redhead's words, looking at her with a plain face before getting up and pulling something out of his sleeve (the one not holding the rock) and showing it to the girl.

A lock pick. A simple lock pick.

"You are my best friend!" the redhead spoke, glee evident in her voice before the boy decided to spoil her good mood with the condition of the girls' release.

"You two have to help me" Shinji said, drawing both girls' attention before continuing, "find someone. That's the condition for your release. Is that clear?" he asked, looking from Ayanami's face to Asuka's.

"Pfh! Hell no!" Asuka said flatly, turning around and looking at the opposite wall, trying very hard not to look at the boy behind her, "I've already got enough on my plate thanks to you, dummkopf!"

Shinji just stood there, confused.

"Du-dumkoff? Domkoff?"

"It's dummkopf, you idiot! Try speaking German sometime, ya hear-" the girl suddenly shut up, flashing the boy a glare before looking away.

"Just who is it that you wish us to help you find, if I may ask?" Ayanami spoke, surprising the other two people.

"well… I want you… to help me find a…samurai. A samurai that smells of sunflowers" Shinji said, leaning against the cell bars as he spoke, drawing the two girl's attention as he showed them a small tanto quickly, the ehandle having a small skull tied to it by a strap.

"Sunflowers?" Ayanami asked, bewildered at the boy's words, but interested all the same as he put the tanto away.

"Yeah, it's…kinda hard to explain but, if you'd agree to help me, I'd help you both escape!" the boy said, hoping to change the redheads mind with this last plea.

"Argh! Fine! If it'll shut you up, then yes, I'll help you! Now get us the hell out of here, this rope is cutting into 'certain' areas that I'd wish it wouldn't!"

The boy cheered quietly, going to work on the lock that held the door closed, working like mad to get the girls out of the cell before-

"Damn! The guards!"

Shinji tried to finish, but the guards spotted him near the cell, and gave chase, losing him shortly there after.

Asuka sat there quietly, thinking.

"When ever I get near him, bad things happen. Please, death, come quickly so that he won't come any closer to me!" she muttered under her breath, watching as the other girl rolled over on her side, facing away from the redhead.

"_But, with that Kimono… he was kinda…"_

Meanwhile, in Ayanami's head.

"_That boy, he tried to save us… we could have betrayed him easily afterwards, yet he risked his life to try and reason with us…"_ Ayanami sighed, gazing out the cell bars and up towards the night sky, _"He is…different."_

The next day, afternoon.

* * *

"Ugh! I can't believe this! I failed last night! How can I rescue them now, with the place so heavily guarded due to the execution?" Shinji panicked, looking down at the ground as he walked towards no place in particular. 

"Wait…I could save them, but I'll need equipment" he made a left turn at the next crossroad, running down to a small shop at the end of the street.

"Hey, old man! I need your help!" he hollered after entering the shop, catching the older man's attention in doing so.

"What the hell is your problem, Shinji?"

After explaining his situation to the older man, and convincing him to loan Shinji two of his strongest explosives, Shinji ran out, carrying his two spherical explosives in the chest of his kimono, catching many strange looks from passer-bys.

"I'm suddenly worried about my appearance, for some reason…"

The boy ran off, gathering a ladder and his wig from the night before in preparation of his plan.

Sunset came, and as the sky turned a orange semi reddish hue, Asuka and Ayanami were brought out onto the grounds, and the scene was set.

"Pfh! This sucks! I didn't even kill the idiot! The other idiot killed your idiot!" Asuka yelled, shutting up when the magistrate got in her face so as to not inhale any 'stupid airs' as she put it.

"You're gonna wish you'd have died in that fire little girl…although, I think I'm being a little nicer then I should be, killing you with your own blade after all" Shibui spoke, recoiling in shock as the girl spat in his face before daring the man to continue.

"Alright! Get the witches over there now!" the old man spoke, pointing over to where two mats were placed, apparently so that he could keep the grounds clean. Go figure.

Ayanami took the short interval to take a look around the area from where she sat, noticing that Ryujiro was absent from the grounds.

"Psst! Hey, Ayanami!" Asuka whispered, catching the other girl's attention.

"You do realize that we aren't gonna die here, cause I haven't got a chance to kill you myself! Got it?"

"Hm, same to you"

Asuka smirked at the girl's words, returning her face to her normal scowl as the executioner came over to grab the two.

"Alright, any last words?"

Only mere seconds before, Shinji propped the ladder against the wall to the magistrate's house, rushing up to the top of the wall, whipping his head from right to left quickly as he worked to spot the two girls.

"Now where are they?"

Now, back to the girls. As the girls were brought over and forced down onto the mats, the executioners were handed the girls respective blades before walking over to the victims, taking up spots on the outside instead of behind them.

"Ready, raise your blades!"

Shinji was spotted as he tried getting closer, two guards having noticed the ladder after Shinji had climbed all the way up.

"Hey you! Stop right…there?"

The two guards stopped in their tracks, looking at what they assumed to be the younger 'woman's' chest before noticing the fuses inserted into either sphere.

"B-B-BOOBIE BOMBS!"

No sooner did they scream that then was the order to execute the two female samurai given, halted suddenly as the group looked up to the commotion on the wall, screaming in horror as the boy tossed one of the orb-like bombs towards the group of spectators, otherwise known as the magistrate and the prisoners.

"What the hell does he think he's doing?" the magistrate screamed, his executioners shaken by the explosion before returning to the task at hand, swinging the blades down at their owners.

Asuka's blade missed her as she rolled forward, rolling back over her blade when it hit ground before shoving her foot into the samurai's face, breaking his nose instantly before nailing him in the crotch.

Ayanami's blade missed as she moved quickly to the side, turning in the process so that the ropes holding her were cut by the blade, grabbing it from the stunned man before slicing his throat open, killing him instantly.

After Asuka was able to get up, she allowed for one of the samurai to strike at her, following Ayanami's example and freeing herself of her bindings before dodging the samurai and running over to grab her blade, putting her back to Ayanami's as they assessed the situation.

"Perhaps we should worry about the enemy in front of us, rather then one another for now" the stoic girl spoke, watching each of the samurai that surrounded her as the two decided on a course of action.

"Okay, but the deal is that I get to kill you after all this is over, so don't even think of dying on me, got it?" Asuka asked, glancing back at the blue haired girl to see whether the girl heard her or not.

"Understood"

The girls went to work, slaughtering any that stood in their way as Shinji continued to keep his pursuers at bay.

He-ey! Watch where you toss those! You could hurt someone!" the guard on the right yelled, ducking as Shinji tossed another small object he found at his pursuers, finally knocking the man off the roof.

After nailing the first guy with a lucky shot, Shinji looked towards the other guy who was now running away, not content to follow in his friends footsteps and end up dead because of a cross dressing kid.

Shinji watched on, cheering himself on inside his head as he turned to watch the other battle being waged down in the courtyard.

As the redhead launched forwards at the samurai in front of her, she began to swing her sword violently, hitting two of the opposing blades pointed at her and slicing another man's chest open before running over to two other opponents standing to her left, jumping when they engaged her in order to catch the blades in her geta.

After striking the first man with her blade while standing on the horizontal blades that the men held, she quickly jumped off the last one, slicing the man at the knee before killing him with a strike to the face with her blade.

The blue haired girl, meanwhile, took her opponents on in a more traditional style, parrying the sword strikes as one of the men charged blindly at her, forgetting himself as the girl moved to the side at the last minute, bringing her blade under her arm before thrusting it into his side, dropping him to the ground and turning her focus to the other three men who stood to her right.

"These girls are good, I'll give them that much!" one of the samurai spoke, "Although, that redhead is lighter then I would have expected, to be able to balance like that on those blades-" the man was cut off by said girl as she swung at him, cutting him off literally.

"This is a battle, so speak on your own time, goddamn it!"

As the blue haired girl rushed over between two trees, dodging the swordsmen on either side of her, she happened across the magistrate, speaking after grabbing him and putting herself behind him, shielding herself from the samurai that aimed to kill her.

"Remember that mercy is granted only once" Ayanami spoke coldly into Shibui's ear, tossing him to the samurai before using the distraction to kill both the magistrate and two of his men with one clean blow before fleeing over to where Asuka currently stood, putting their backs together once again.

"Looks like we're done for!" Asuka spoke, malice evident in her voice as she watched the remaining samurai surround them, the look of murderers clear in their eyes.

All the blue haired girl did was sigh and nod along with the redhead.

"Look out!"

The two girls looked up quickly, noticing the boy at the top of the wall tossing the last bomb out onto the enemy, giving the girls a chance to escape in the ensuing explosion.

After the girls met up with him, they all fled down a side street, watching their backs as they ran.

As they came to a stop, both the redhead and the pale girl turned to face one another, their swords drawn as so they could finally finish their duel at the eatery that started this whole mess.

"Wait! Don't kill each other! You guys both owe me for saving you, you know" Shinji spoke, reminding the girls of their debt.

"You almost killed us, idiot! Who the hell tosses explosives into a crowd of people that could be your ally?" Asuka screamed, not caring who, or what, heard.

"I agree, even though you did provide a distraction, you nearly killed the two of us" Ayanami said, putting her hand to her head as she realized what she just said.

"_I must be sick…"_

"Hey, I know! Why not decide on a coin flip?" Shinji suggested, pulling a yen coin out of one of his pockets, "heads, you both have to forget about your duel and help me find the samurai that smells of sunflowers! Tails, you both go at it here and now!" Shinji watched as Asuka grabbed the coin from him, tossing it up into the air as she turned around to talk to him.

"There!"

The two others looked on in stunned silence, their thoughts in unison.

"_She either doesn't know how to flip a coin, or she doesn't know how to show restraint. And I'm banking on both right now…"_

"Hey, where's my coin?" Shinji asked out loud, watching as he saw what looked like a yellow speck fall from the sky, impacting him in the face.

"Gah! Jeez, that hurt!" Shinji spoke before picking the coin up off his forehead and looking at it.

"It's heads!"

Both girls groaned as the shouts of 'they're over here' echoed behind them, making a dash with their new travel companion at their side, fleeing the town and starting on their long journey.

* * *

**A/N:** okay, finally got the first episode finished! I have to say that this was rather hurried so that I could start work on the next piece (I got tired after writing three chapters to just one episode, truth be told).

Also, for the reviews I got; I don't know about romance, but since this is an AU, I won't have any qualms about pairing up Shinji with either of the girls, seeing as Ayanami isn't related to him in this. I am an ex-(somewhat) ShinjiRei shipper, but I still like some of the ficsthat are set in AUs regarding that pair, so don't think I'm heartless towards Ayanami...

Read my profile for more on that (the ShinjiRei thing).

Please stand by as I start work on the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Okay, I finally own it, yes I do! and if you believe that, I've got beach front property to sell you in arizona cheap! for the idiots out there, that means I don't own it...I can't believe I have to put that there...

Neon Genesis Champloo

Episode 2: We're broke, and this is just the beginning of our trip!

* * *

Water; calm, cool and collected, yet quiet, cold and unforgiving. Never acting, only reacting to the motions of the earth and moon. 

Fire; violent, horrifying yet passionate and beautiful when not threatening the lives of creatures big and small.

These two forces oppose one another, yet without both life would be impossible on this harsh, unforgiving planet. Yet we must remember that we can never truly control this two opposing forces, and that with one wrong move, our lives could be over.

Something Shinji should try to learn as soon as possible…

"Listen, BOY! If you don't stop looking at my breasts I'll sever them!" Asuka warned, continuing the supposed 'death march' that they had begun the night before, trying hard to put as much distance between the village and them.

"How can I not? You don't cover them with anything but bandages! They just…jiggle…when you walk" Shinji tried hard not to blush as he stared back down at his feet, trying hard not to meet the redhead's gaze.

"If you both don't mind, I would like some peace and quiet, please?" the blue haired girl spoke softly, never looking towards the other two as she continued on at a slow pace, her face never showing weakness.

But she had a hell of a poker face.

"_I haven't had anything since… great, I don't remember when I eat last" _Ayanami thought to herself, keeping her eyes hidden with her hair as she sped up, moving up ahead of the group by a small margin.

"_Why can't we stop and eat? Shinji was supposed to give me a hundred dumplings and never did! So that means I haven't eaten in forever… why the hell does that witch need to be so stoic and calm? Even I know she's weak from hunger" _Asuka thought, taking up step a few feet away from Shinji.

"If you don't stop looking, boy…" Asuka warned Shinji once again, catching him as he peeked over at her from the corner of his eye.

"I wasn't looking at your chest!" Shinji complained, starting up a fight between the two travelers while Rei tried very hard to forget where she was at the moment.

As the three walked up a small incline, they spied a small shack at the top and, after searching their persons for any loose change, decided to stop and get something to eat before going on.

"I hope they have dumplings!" Asuka drooled, rubbing her stomach as it decided to growl at that precise second, "Eheh, then it's settled then! We are stopping!"

After the three ordered some dumplings with the few coins they had, they all took up residence on the outside bench while they decided on their next course of action, only a few seconds passed before Asuka stood up and walked back over to the shady looking chef, punching him and demanding her change back.

"What are you doing Asuka?" Shinji gaped, looking on as the girl walked back with a smug look on her face.

"He was the one who tried cheating us out of our change back! I knew that we were supposed to get-" she held her hand open to show the change resting in her palm, "This much back, and he only gave us half! If I'd let you buy the stuff without me watching, then you'd of let him get away with it, Shinji!"

"I…I am amazed, Asuka! I kinda had you figured for an…well…idiot, actually" Shinji spoke, unsure of himself as the girl glared at him.

"Well, I can't think on an empty stomach, and before this meal, I hadn't had anything for two days besides plants! By the way, they held absolutely no flavor, whatsoever" she said, glaring harder at the boy as she continued, "But, you should be apologizing to me! Calling a beautiful woman such as myself an idiot? The nerve of you, boy!"

"…"

"Well?"

"I'm sorry, Asuka" Shinji spoke, his mouth turned into a shy smile as he watched the girls face lighten up before looking over at the more stoic member of the group.

Who just then plopped the last dumpling in her mouth, with the other two getting only two each before the argument started.

"He who hesitates is lost" Ayanami spoke calmly, walking past the two before turning to the travelers walking up the opposite side of the hill, coming from the direction that our group had decided on the night before while ignoring her fellow companions gaping mouths.

"That-that-that-" Asuka kept repeating herself, replaying the event in her head as she tried desperately to understand what had just happened.

Shinji was, likewise, doing the same.

The group was just about to leave when an older traveler stumbled up to the small stop, leaning on a walking stick for balance as he made his way closer to the three, passing them and wandering over to the small bench, his skin covered in bruises.

"What the hell happened to him?" Asuka asked aloud, not trying in the least to hide her curiosity.

"It looks like he was injured during a fight" Ayanami said after looking at the man.

He stumbled by the three teens, making his way over to the bench that they had been sitting on moments before, placing his walking stick at his side as he rested from his ordeal. After watching the man for a few seconds, Rei took the initiative and walked over, striking up a conversation with the man.

"So, you're trying to take this path to your destination?" the old man asked, his face covered ever so slightly by rogue strands of hair, although the majority was held back by a small tie, "You'd be better off trying to find another way of passage, young lady."

"We do not have the time, nor the money to take such ways. As such, we must take this path" Rei replied, her voice emotionless as she spoke, "However, I would like to ask just why this path is dangerous?"

The man turned to her, catching sight of the weapon at her side, "Hm, well, the rumors are that there's a giant going around these mountains, killing off travelers and anything else he can get his hands on, quite terrifying if I do say so myself!"

Asuka and Shinji watched as the girl nodded along with the man's words, not quite sure what they were really talking about. "What is she doing? She better hurry if she knows what's good for her" Asuka spoke, not trying to hide her growing impatience, "First she steals our food, now she's holding us up! Come on Shinji, we're leaving!"

After saying her goodbyes, Rei caught up with the other two, taking up stride on Shinji's right while Asuka took up the left.

The early morning. (actually, it was still dark out)

"Those brats! I'll show them, I make them pay for what they did to my hand!" Ryujiro spoke, keeping out of sight as he made his way up to the holding cells, catching sight of a massive hill of rags inside the final cell at the end of the corridor.

"Oh pariah! I have a job for y-you" he drug the 'u' out for as long as possible, the mass of rags slowly getting to it's feet and revealing a, what many would describe as, horrifying face.

"What…do you…want form me?" the hulking giant ask, looking down at Ryujiro as the shorter man stood outside the cell, jiggling keys in his hand, "What I want is to 'help' you. You see, these nasty brats were making fun of how you look, and I know that what they said wasn't true!"

Ryujiro continued to lie his as off, "But also, you're the Pariah, are you not? Those brats should learn to respect your power! So, if I let you out, then you should hunt them down and teach them the errors of their ways, understand?"

The massive hulk nodded his understanding, watching as the shorter man unlocked the door and took hold of his hand, leading him out of the holding cells and out into the world, "I'll kill them" the pariah spoke, following the man into the night.

Okay, back to the present!

"…"

Ayanami and Asuka looked behind them, noticing that Shinji had stopped to look at something.

"Hey! Why the sudden holdup?" Asuka shouted back to the boy, watching as he turned to her and waved for them both to come over, "why the hell do you want us-"

The girl stopped speaking, noticing that there was another, slightly older, yet regal and beautiful, lady walking down the opposite path, her kimono sporting a blue color, dull to some yet easy on the eyes.

The three had watched as the lady had caught sight of them, suddenly bursting out in a small run so that she could reach them before they left.

"Excuse me!" she shouted, watching as Asuka stretched out, yawning widely as she waited along side Shinji and Rei, "I'm so sorry for the wait!"

Rei looked at the woman, inspecting her before deciding to speak, "It was not a problem. However, I would like to know why you wanted us to wait" the blue haired girl spoke, still not showing any more emotion then necessary.

"I apologize for the wait, you see-"

"Well? Speak, goddammit!" Asuka said, interrupting the woman before she had a chance to explain herself.

The woman sighed, "I'm very sorry, Miss..uh"

"Asuka" the redhead replied, tapping her foot on the ground as Shinji tried to find something to look at that WASN'T jiggling up and down, "and if you don't stop staring at my chest, SHINJI, I will remove them!"

Shinji gulped, turning a brilliant shade of red before the lady continued.

"My name is Hotaru, and I live nearby"

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I know this was short, but I have run myself into a, well, writer's block of sorts. the story will continue, but I first need to get some idea as to what I'm gonna do. this chapter was short, I will say that much, and until I can get this idea fleshed out, the chapters will remain shorter then most are use to, so that I won't have to worry about writing myself into a corner. 

Because I hate writing myself into a corner.

And as for this episode and how this one played out in Samurai Champloo; I know it was different in many regards, but it well follow 'certain' episode points. So, until next time... See ya!


End file.
